PERSEVERANCE LYRICS

1. Evelyn

[Instrumental]

2. A Moment Of Clarity

[Music and lyrics by Gareth Sansom]

'Rape, murder, suicide..
These thoughts are constantly with me
Of course, this is not mentally 'healthy'
There is no doubt that by present standards
I am mentally ill, a hopeless sociopath

My reason tells me
That I have nothing to live for

Intellectually, sexually..
Occupationally, socially..

Everywhere a dead end
The pain now outweighs the pleasure
And every day adds weight
To the logic of self-destruction..'

3. The Death Project

[Music and lyrics by Gareth Sansom]

Mediocrity's face, no greater the torment
Spared potent duresses and obvious malady
From childhood's lament, through youth's awkward epiphanies
Time ushered apartheid, wisdom bought clarity

For years, nigh on decades, that threshold advanced
Persecuted by virtues reserved for the blessed
As this rage welled within me though, visions grew clearer
Manifesting a project for him that reflected the mirror

The weight of the world and this vile exterior
Forgiven no trespass, resigned and inferior
'Always and never', mine mantra rehearsed
But no longer and never again will this face follow curse

In dream I wander restlessly
A landscape painted fantasy
As paragon and victory
In wildernesses draped eternal dusk

Amiss, that instant whence I lapsed from daydream
And chanced to test the waters of temptation
However, now forever changed, I stagger
Onward towards forbidden pleasures nearer

Designed a tale in detail crafted horror
From whence I might forever sate this hunger
To take and break the will as bread communion
And bind this sacrament in sexual union

Onward, through the endless grey
Trespassing, thus, forbidden ley
Desire's fire, and carnal swey
In wildernesses draped eternal dusk

Simplicity's intricacies, beyond my reach; reality
Conformity, complacency, base urge will out, eventually..
Sadistically, methodically, in finest sculpted fantasy
The chamber awaits and hour draws late, lest will abate..

.. a swansong on the 'morn

4. The Brustian Solution

[Music and lyrics by Gareth Sansom]

Stark naked, cold, and in inglorious entire
As an open wound upon the concept flesh of humanity
I now submit my will to body
Forgivenesses as far beyond my grasp
As were near the ironic values of those delusions
Which once claimed day's hours, and fought the warmth from starless nights
Ever more often now to prevail
A warmth that would otherwise attest salvation as still within my reach

Amidst literatures, which once too offered solace
From an otherwise cruel and oft surreal affliction
Tomes now cold to the touch, and which yield naught
Save for distant, confusing familiarities
Which belong only to a simpler man, and thats image persists
As much so as the sickly scent of that cosmetic bouquet
From which every fairer manifest sex I would pass about my musings
And upon my journey into murderous disposition lingers
I sit and give power to this epiphany;

All interpretation is nothing but masturbation
As many words would colour as countless truths would tear asunder
Every monument a satire for reckless self-deception
This world and Earth and all, a curse in shades of colourlessness left behind

So then, I here succumb to lusts attraction
And undertake to task those plans in motion
That I decide by force for satisfaction
And swear to close this monster's evolution

Affections, few and dilute as they lingered
Not ever I these truths will have rescinded
No virtue holds against this dark ablution
Anon arrives the 'Brustian Solution'

Aye, there is a dawning knowledge, after all
And a savior defined in this uncomfortable discovery;
'Self is commandment, without the clay
And all sensation as sacred as that moment in which it is taken'
No document could hope to attain those lofty heights
To which this rebel's ego might still soar
If nothing more is learnt than this; I now clearly see
That the answer which for so long proved elusive
Was only so for fear of castigation

Was I for so long the incarnation of abstention..

So then, I here succumb to lusts attraction
And undertake to task those plans in motion
That I decide by force for satisfaction
And swear to close this monster's evolution

Affections, few and dilute as they lingered
Not ever I these truths will have rescinded
No virtue held against this dark ablution
With dawn arrives the 'Brustian Solution'

5. Concrete

[Music by Rhys Mathew, lyrics by Gareth Sansom]

'When you first kill someone, it's like breaking the ice
It's an obstacle in the beginning, but after that..
.. it's nothing.'

People are like maggots
Small, blind and worthless

Mary Ellen Jones, of immaculate skin and fragile bones
Unbroken, tight and clean (and shy of sixteen..)
Note well the year is nineteen seventy-three
And in summate, this righteous fortune, 'Vidi, Vici, Veni..'

Whilst Dahmer court' depravity
Manson's brood and Gacy's violent sexuality
Mine is calm necessity, for needs unmet and social anxieties
Balanced blood, and nature coursed toward it

Though not as easily bound
Nor hidden from the waking sight
Of post-ejaculate catharsis
The gravity of my actions has finally sought me

The trance-like state of passion
Now forever broken, and the flood of realization
for transgressions at the night before
Rushed to my senses
With the weight of a concrete hammer
Shattering completely the chrysalis around me

Within the chamber
A whimpering child, tied
And with dark mascara smeared across her porcelain features
Faith pulverized by the night's atrocities
Begged an end to my advance

And without
A prostrate boy, denied the dawn
And soaked cold through with hues of blood and rage
Day's light forever now beyond sensation
Sought paradise foregone, away

An emptiness far greater than any felt before, arrived
And defined a catalyst for this panorama of destruction
Draining all joy from those things I had done

.. at this, the veil was lifted
And euphoria gave ground completely to evocation
Mary cried maternal..
As salvation lay farther than ever from my grasp

6. Cyanide (Overture)

[Music by Rhys Mathew and Gareth Sansom]

'I have miscalculated
I know I can save the situation
By a lot of disagreeable work
But I see no good reason for going on
What would come next..?
The whole business is not worth it

Life is not worth the trouble, after all'







PERSEVERANCE LYRICS